Lindsay Lohan to Ankle Monitor: Scram, Loser!

October 15th, 2010 2:22 PM by Free Britney

Tags: Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan and her ankle monitor have become extremely close lately, but this is one confidant the actress is looking to cut loose as soon as possible.

Funny, it's the only one she has that's not an enabler.

The booze detector permanently fixed to her ankle is the subject of much irritation for LiLo, who's living clean and sober at the Betty Ford clinic.

FREE LINDSAY: Come on. That left ankle needs to breathe.

"Lindsay wants her ankle monitor device off - now," a source close to her. "She's been pleading with her lawyer, counselors, anyone who will listen to her."

She's probably just bitter because of the time she tried to tamper with it and it bitched to the authorities. Or just "because it's very uncomfortable."

Lohan, who spent just 13 days of a 90-day jail term in July for violating probation, was sent back after failing court-ordered drug test for cocaine.

An appeals court reversed Judge Elden Fox's decision, however, provided the train wreck be outfitted with a SCRAM bracelet again. Which she was.

But now that she's in rehab, there's nothing to worry about - save for Michael Lohan falling off the wagon on purpose to join her - so why wear it?

"Lindsay doesn't understand why she has to wear the SCRAM, as she voluntarily checked in and she is tested for drugs at Betty Ford," a source said.

Looks like she's SOL for at least a week, though, and not because of the (bogus) report that she tried to break out of rehab. The reason is simple:

"Lindsay will have to wear the bracelet until her next hearing on October 22 and could be forced to wear it for as long as Judge Fox makes her."

Maybe it's for the best. Can she stay clean this time?

	Yes, she's learned her lesson by now!
	No, she's spineless, weak and surrounded by enablers!

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Book Her: Lindsay Lohan Jailed!

Lindsay Lohan is going to jail.

The troubled star surrendered in court this morning to begin serving a three-month sentence for violating the probation terms of her 2007 DUI conviction.

In reality, Lindsay may spend only about three weeks behind bars, due to the overcrowding of the facility she's headed to. Assuming she behaves herself.

Judge Marsha Revel did not allow the media to capture the exact moment of Linds' surrender (good for her, bad for us), before ordering her into custody.

"At this time, she will be remanded," the judge said as Lohan was about to be cuffed, adding "All cameras are ordered to be shut off, both still and video."

Revel said Lohan would not be eligible for house arrest or work release. She will also be required to report to probation within 24 hours of her release.

Lindsay Lohan did not speak in court this morning.

After cameras were shut off, deputies took her away and removed her belongings as old/new lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley and her family looked on.

"I love you, Lindsay," said Michael Lohan, who unfortunately showed.

Lindsay will now begin processing at the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood, Calif., where she will spend her sentence, however long that is.

Processing entails fingerprinting, photographing (new mug shots!), cell assignment,ankle monitor removal and a wardrobe change (orange jumpsuit!!).

Back in 2007, Lohan spent just 84 minutes at this same facility. Not long enough, apparently, to change her destructive behavior in any discernible way.

Here's hoping a few weeks or more does the trick this time around. What will be the biggest obstacle for her, no Twitter, no friends or no cigarettes?

We'll find out soon enough.

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Lindsay Lohan Will Do Time, New Lawyer Says

Robert Shapiro has officially filed papers to replace Shawn Chapman Holley as Lindsay Lohan’s attorney in her DUI case - and it could be the best thing for her.

Not because he's got some legal rabbit to pull out of a hat and save her from jail, but for the opposite reason. He's apparently convinced her to face the music.

Lohan’s next court date is Tuesday, July 20, at which point the star must turn herself in to begin serving a 90-day sentence for violating her DUI probation.

Shapiro, who must be approved by Judge Marsha Revel as Lohan's counsel before he can officially represent her, issued a statement to Access Hollywood Friday.

In it, he confirms he has taken the case, but only on one condition – that the troubled actress accept the judge’s decisions, including the “requirement of jail.”

Lindsay's new legal eagle may be just what she needs - to get help.

“I have agreed to represent Ms. Lohan on the condition she comply with the terms of probation, including a requirement of jail, imposed by Judge Revel,” he said.

“Ms. Lohan is suffering from a disease that I am all too familiar with. Hopefully, I can be of assistance to Ms. Lohan and Judge Revel in implementing a treatment approach recommended by medical professionals for Ms. Lohan’s long term recovery.”

One of Shapiro’s sons, Brent, died of a drug overdose in 2005.

Lohan checked into a sober living house at the Pickford Lofts,founded by Shapiro. It is possible that Judge Revel could eliminate, reduce or postpone jail and simply keep Lohan there, but regardless, it's good Shapiro has her on the right path.

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Kim Kardashian Tweets Support of Lindsay Lohan

This is both sweet and nauseating.

In the aftermath of Lindsay Lohan's 90-day jail sentencing yesterday afternoon, KimKardashian has Tweeted support of her fellow promiscuous celebrity. She wrote:

Sending positivity your way @LindsayLohan Love you! Everyone please send LL your sweet prayers. U never know when someone really needs it.

No offense to Kim or Lindsay, but we think God has better things to do with His time than answer prayers related to an alcoholic trainwreck who will likely benefit from a stint in jail. Lohan needs some wake up call to turn around her life, doesn't she?

Two women, four huge breasts, zero talent, one jail sentence.

In between sobs and lewd nail painting, Lindsay replied to Kim and Tweeted: “thank you so much @KimKardashian – thanks for being such a good friend, it means a lot to me."

Fortunately for Lohan, she'll meet many new good friends in jail, too. Especially when she drops the soap.

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Lindsay Lohan to Judge: F--k You!

Lindsay Lohan deserves what she got yesterday.

She cried, begged for mercy and appeared contrite when Judge Marsha Revel handed down a 90-day jail sentence and gave her until July 20 to turn herself in.

Friends and fellow celebs, such as Kim Kardashian, have Tweeted support for Lohan, actually feeling sorry for Lindsay and treating her like some sort of victim.

Don't be fooled, though. The prima donna still thinks that the world is out to get her, will not take responsibility for her actions and behaves like a spoiled brat.

This is fact, not opinion. Just read her lips nails.

WAAAAAH: Lindsay Lohan feels sorry for herself. Enjoy jail.

The troubled star may not have told off the judge with her mouth during yesterday's legal smackdown, but she had special message for Judge Marsha Revel, alright.

Painted on her fingernails in small print, but clearly visible in any enlarged photo, was her take on the process and the woman who determined her fate: "f*ck you."

Karma's a bitch, isn't it?

Just when we almost took pity on her, too. There's little doubt she is beyond messed up, which stems from awful parenting, but it's hard to sympathize with her now.

A few months behind bars may be the only way to get the point across. Clearly the judge thinks so. See the evidence for yourself in these Lindsay Lohan pictures ...

CLASS ACT: This is definitely how to get on a judge's good side.

To be clear, the girl repeatedly violated the terms of her probation (stemming from a DUI conviction), which are not difficult to uphold. This didn't come out of nowhere.

We think justice was served. How about you?

Lindsay Lohan belongs in ...

	Jail
	Rehab
	My arms
	The local crack den
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